๐Ÿ Attack of the Assassin Goats ๐Ÿ

Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

It is us — a legion of goat assassins and a division of the Murder Madi Corp — out toย endย the notoriously self-conceited and lame Madison Lorfing.

You see, she thinks she is the best person in the world. The toughest, most dramatic, most amazing.

She could never be more wrong, of course, and that is why we are going to terminate her.

This was us when we were babies.

And there is the miserably pathetic target — Madison Lorfing, Lamo of all Lamoes. Madi felt confident in her country-girl-can-survive skills back then.

But she is such a city slicker.

We were so innocent. She thought she had animals in her hip pocket.

HAHAHAHAHA.

We have grown. Oh, we have grown. We’ve grown and we’re back and we’re ready for revenge.

And this time, we have an army.

It started out with those simple, smug words: “I’m soย awesome at this!”

Instantly, the goat she was petting and feeding went murderous. Every single one of us went on lockdown.

We would not stop until sheย was taken out.

Madison Lorfing, prepare to die.

“Ha ha, hey buddy, how about we settle this with a high five?”

“No?”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“I’m innocent! I wasn’t bragging! I was just… being my awesome, better-than-you self!”

The baby was the first to take her down.

MERCILESSLY FOLLOWED BY THE REST OF US.

“No! Please no! I CAN’T SURVIIIVE!”

Screaming and crying, Madison ran for her life away from we the goat assassins and hightailed itย up a tree, where she stayed for hours until we smelled food coming from another direction and, well, it was over.

See, Madi pretends not to be a city slicker and will go to crazy measures to try to prove she isn’t. But because we all know she can’t even survive a few goats, we the goatsย of Murder Madi Corp hereby give you full permission to spend the next four hours laughing in her online facade-face.

One melodious accordย and sound of laughter, indivisible, with Madison as the butt of our every joke. Amen.

See you the next time Madison visits us. >:)

โ€”WE THE GOAT ASSASSINS, A DIVISION OFย THE MURDER MADI CORPโ€”

P.S. What should we do to Madisonย the next time she comes to Texas? Comment your ideas below… hurry, before she gets back from youth camp today. >:)

Thank you to Madison’s best friend for many of the goat pictures

By |2017-08-04T19:00:07+00:00August 4th, 2017|... I Don't Even Know.|34 Comments

About the Author:

Hey! I'm Madi, a blogger, writer, doll collector, & minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You can learn more about me by clicking here and more about this blog by clicking here.

34 Comments

  1. Charis | charisrae.com August 4, 2017 at 3:49 pm - Reply

    Oh man … *dies laughing* That was hilarious, Madi! I’ve never been attacked by goats but I usually steer clear. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:48 pm - Reply

      ๐Ÿ˜‚ It was so fun! STEER CLEAR, DEAR.

  2. Clara August 4, 2017 at 3:53 pm - Reply

    HAHAHAHA I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS POST. XD
    Your facial expressions are amazing and AWW THE CUTE LITTLE GOATS! The Murder Madi Corp….. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

    -Clara <3

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:49 pm - Reply

      HEHEHE. XDD AWW I know right! They were sooo cute! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Thanks so much for commenting!

  3. Kaitlyn August 4, 2017 at 4:14 pm - Reply

    AWWWWWW!!!! SO AWESOME! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:49 pm - Reply

      AWWWWW I KNOW RIGHT!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Maddie August 4, 2017 at 7:30 pm - Reply

    Wow poor Madison. She’s got her life cut out I tell ya’. First Del and second–a legion of goat assassins and a division of the Murder Madi Corp?!?!? LIKE WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! Like just when I think getting attacked by a LEGO is bad Madison’s out there defending herself against goats!! And I mean really. Who are you people? Allies of Aurora? Or Jasmine? Or…or Merida or something? Cause last time I checked, THE PRINCESSES HAD THE WHOLE ANIMAL THING UNDER CONTROL. Like look at Moana out there with the pigs and chickens. I mean really guys…I need a princess over here gettin’ you goats under control X’D

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:50 pm - Reply

      ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Help me Maddie I’m DYING ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ *dies laughing*

      Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and memory of Madi Grace. She died of laughter overdose via Maddie.

  5. Sara๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‘ August 4, 2017 at 8:03 pm - Reply

    Oh….my…..gosh! That’s HALLARIOUS they were all nice and sweet at first and then you say something and they take it serious the baby goat really did attack you๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜ŠI’m so happy you didn’t die๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜› How’s it going? After the goats almost killed you they would have if you didn’t ninja your way up that tree๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:51 pm - Reply

      LOL it was!! Hahaha no it was all staged ๐Ÿ˜‚ Hehehe ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m good, how are you?

      • Sara๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž August 9, 2017 at 10:04 pm - Reply

        LOL ๐Ÿ˜‚that was an Adventure being attacked by goats! ๐Ÿ˜‹XD hehehe. ๐Ÿ˜„I’m pretty good!โ˜บ And your know how I just got back from Oregon my aunt and my two cousins are going back to drop of my cousin Eli that drove the truck and coming back there. going to be gone for a month. thank GOODNESS I’m not going lol uggg this life is hard my cousin and aunt are going to beat a record on driving across the usa in 1 year 8 TIMES that’s like not normal๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“Wow LOLOL p.s YOUR TRULY AWESOME!! ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Sara August 14, 2017 at 12:12 pm - Reply

        I know it was all staged that was so funny you could of made a funny movie of Madi against assassin goats ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰XDDD! Those goats were ADORABLE though

        • Madi August 16, 2017 at 4:22 pm - Reply

          ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ They were quite amusing. XD Haha yes yes they were

          • Sara August 16, 2017 at 5:34 pm - Reply

            Lol the baby’s were especially adorable XD!

  6. Sarah August 4, 2017 at 9:11 pm - Reply

    LOL I LAUGHED SO HARD XDDD

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm - Reply

      AW YAY XDDD

  7. Carol August 5, 2017 at 12:37 am - Reply

    THAT WAS UTTERLY HILARIOUS. xDD

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm - Reply

      HEHEHE. XDDD

  8. Olive August 5, 2017 at 7:13 am - Reply

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:53 pm - Reply

      ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  9. Allison August 5, 2017 at 9:59 am - Reply

    BWAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:53 pm - Reply

      LOLOL IT WAS SO FUN ๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. Olivia Bell (aka Livy) August 6, 2017 at 4:06 pm - Reply

    Oh my gumdrops! This was SO FUNNY!!! HAHAHA! ๐Ÿ˜€ Your facial expressions, Madi, were so funny! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m telling you, you really have an imagination and a way with making things hysterical! ๐Ÿ˜€ I have no idea what the goats should do to you next, maybe be nice? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Haha! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:53 pm - Reply

      LOLOL! Awwaaa thank you so much, you’re so sweet! HAHA XDD

  11. Ali August 7, 2017 at 11:41 am - Reply

    haha!
    this was funny! ๐Ÿ˜€
    I loved it!
    you friend is a very good photographer.
    I’m so glad you got to go back to texas!
    and sorry to sound like a mom but you look so much older too! XD
    you are so beautiful. ๐Ÿ˜€
    have a nice day! ~Ali

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 7:55 pm - Reply

      Hehehe! I’m so glad!

      She is!

      Thanks, Ali!

      LOLOL XDD

      Awww, you’re so sweet! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Thank you so much for commenting, Ali!

  12. Reyna August 7, 2017 at 3:00 pm - Reply

    Hi Madi! I nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog! Here is a link to the post: https://rainflower8.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-blogging-recognition-award-liebster.html
    I nominated you because of how motivating and fun your posts are ๐Ÿ˜€ I can’t wait to read your answers!
    ~Reynaxxx

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 8:07 pm - Reply

      Awww, thank you SO much! You’re so sweet! I can’t wait to do this! ๐Ÿ˜€

  13. Josie August 7, 2017 at 6:34 pm - Reply

    MADI YOU LOOK LIKE AN ADULT IN THESE PICTURES WUT.
    Ahem.
    And awww that fourth picture is so cute and the goats I’m dying of adorableness goodbye

    • Madi August 9, 2017 at 8:07 pm - Reply

      ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ WUT.

      AWWWW ikr ikr okay bye

  14. Daisymermaid August 8, 2017 at 2:20 am - Reply

    Oh… oh dear

  15. Sara August 11, 2017 at 5:06 pm - Reply

    Poor Madi. Those goats are relentless – Hahaha, that was so fun to read! I couldn’t really imagine you screaming and crying, hehe, in fact you looked rather amused like you were fighting laughter… ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚ As soon as I saw the title I knew this was my kind of post! ๐Ÿ˜‚
    -Saraโ™ฅ๏ธ

    • Madi August 16, 2017 at 1:09 pm - Reply

      YES POOR ME I ALMOST DIED. Jk. XD

      YES. I was dying laughing the entire time. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      HAHA yess ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Thanks for commenting! <3

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